You know that voice.
The one that pipes up when you’re on the verge of something meaningful.
That says, “Who do you think you are?” Or “You’re not ready for this.”
It shows up quietly at first… when you’re starting something new, trying to grow, or daring to be seen.
But before long, it’s dominating the conversation, turning confidence into doubt and excitement into self-sabotage.
But it’s not always the enemy…
We call it the inner critic.
And most people treat it like an enemy to fight, fix, or shut up.
But what if that voice wasn’t trying to destroy you…
What if it was trying to protect you?
Think of it as a very old, very anxious security guard who only knows one tactic: fear.
And that guard was hired a long time ago.
Maybe in childhood. Maybe after a public embarrassment. Maybe during a rough season when you learned that shrinking and self-monitoring felt safer than standing out.
It’s not irrational.
At one point, that voice likely kept you from experiencing rejection.
It helped you avoid failure. It gave you rules to live by that made you feel in control in a world that didn’t always make sense.
The trouble is… it never updated its strategy.
So today, as you evolve, as you try to grow, express yourself, or do something bold, that same inner voice goes into lockdown mode.
“This could go wrong.”
“They might not like you.”
“You’ll regret this.”
Not because you’re doing something wrong…
But because you’re doing something new.
And to that voice? New feels unsafe.
But here’s where things shift.
What if, instead of going to war with that voice, you got curious about it?
Try asking:
- What are you trying to protect me from?
- Where did I first learn this tone?
- What’s the fear beneath this criticism?
You’ll often find that the voice isn’t trying to be cruel.
It’s just repeating outdated instructions it believes will keep you safe.
And when you pause and really listen… not obeying the voice, but hearing it… you create something powerful:
Space.
Space between the thought and the truth, space between reaction and choice, and space to say, “Thank you for trying to help… but I’m safe now.”
Because you are.
You’re not that 7th grader fumbling through a class speech.
You’re not the version of yourself that got laughed at or left behind or told to be smaller.
You’ve grown. And you can handle this.
Your job now isn’t to silence the critic. It’s to parent it. Reassure it. Let it know you’ve got this handled.
Over time, the more you move forward despite the critic’s warnings, the more trust you rebuild with yourself.
That’s how real confidence grows… not from perfection, but from self-relationship.
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